I look at Ayah's picture and I read what her uncle wrote and I keep thinking how many people are suffering while I'm sitting here with everything someone could ask for. I am so selfish. I want to be there helping the kids why am I just sitting here! They need me, they are so strong and Ayah laughs all the time and I'm sitting here crying because I feel sad for her? I don't even know her! Who am I to cry about it? I don't even deserve to do that. I want to take all her pain and make it my own. I want to take all of the kids pain and make it my own. They haven't even experienced life I have so why not me? God why not me? I've experienced everything a person should. I want to take her spot, she deserves to able to be a little 8 year old with friends and playing outside in the park. She deserves that I wish I could take her pain and make it my own.