Saturday, April 23, 2011

This is said...






A Rambling Poetic and Unedited Story of an Issue… and yes its not short and Im sure it doesn't have correct tempo or structure or any of the other things that make a story or poem or writing great... here it is... its about a problem.

The problem this time is simple
My bed is too high
Its not as if I sleep much
Or need to lay down and cry

But days come and go
My body is aching
The soul I work to refresh
Is losing and breaking

I did not run all day
I did not struggle all night
I did not raise my fists
But I was involved in a fight

The fight of keeping faith
And attempting to seem un-phased
Everyone tells me its fine
Not realizing the bright side I just chased

When a little girl asks for me
And says her uncle is what she wants
While Im on stage performing that night
I guess comedians do perform stunts

It is by far the hardest thing
To leave a lonely hospital bed
Go home and write laughs
Then end up remembering only what the girl said

But this is my career
And this is my dream
She loves this about me
We are a comedy team

I am not a lawyer
Doctor or Engineer
Im not 6 foot 4
With a 9 to 5 career

But I will tell you this
Its what the little girl makes me
Im the best uncle in the world
Why? Because she tells me

I like to consider myself
The best of many things in the end
Best brother and best son
Maybe even the best friend

At the end of my nights
I want to fall to the floor
I spent all day looking victorious
Regardless of the score

If you sob thinking about her
Or you break down and cry
Imagine being the first name she ever spoke
Well I am that guy

She means much more to me
Than any life on this planet
If I could throw God my own soul
Id gladly over hand it

We know that already
We read it or heard me say it
But I say it over and over
Then I stop a second and then replay it

Rise and shine I try
Make it through the days struggles
Then silence eventually hits
All earth’s sounds are muffled

The sun goes down
The moon appears
I walk over to my bed
And realize my greatest fears

It has happened to me again
My body is tired
I can’t believe moments ago
I was awake… in fact I was wired

But now the pain has set in
That today doctors never called
To tell us she will be okay
And the illness has begun to fall

This girl who means so much
Is still sick and I am not
If I can just make it to my pillow
I will fall asleep on the spot

Maybe I can dream a cure
And wake up to a healthy niece
If I can just rest a bit
And give my brain some peace

But as I open my bedroom door
And take 2 steps inside
I realize I can’t feel my legs
My vision is gone from my eyes

I stagger and stumble
I move slowly toward the sheets
The day has taken its toll on me
I no longer control my feet

A day of dealing with pain
With my own self to lean on
Most people take of running
As I begin to tell them what’s wrong

They tell me to let them know
When I want to talk
But the path to start the conversation
Is no easy walk

In fairness there is nothing
A person could say
To delete the issue she has
And make it go away

But if you ever felt loved
By me in any way
Try to have an out of body moment
And stop just to say

I got your back my friend
Like you had mine before
Im not good at words like you
But I don’t want to ignore

It sometimes takes heart ache
For people to understand the feeling
But hiding until the situation is over
Is the worst way of dealing

Just remember as you sleep tonight
That feeling in your chest
Wondering how bad it must feel
To literally be unable to rest

Do yourself a favor
Its good karma after all
Ask a person in need to talk
Instead of waiting for them to call

I know it could be worse
There are bigger emergencies than mine
But my body is so tired
It makes my bed too high

I look up at comfort
And wish for a simple gift
Could you ease me into bed
Could you simply offer me a lift

This story is not weakness
In fact I think its strength
In opening the eyes all around us
And speaking about it at length

We are all human
We all hurt in many ways
Don’t believe someone appearing fine
Or believe what they say

They hurt and they feel
And just when you think they are fine
They are broken and sleeping on the floor…
Because their bed is just too high.

Love You Ayah…

 - Said Durrah

25 comments:

  1. =[ hope she gets better soon

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  2. this is saddd :((

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  3. shes a strong young girl.... tell her i love her

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  4. she is in my prayers

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  5. wish i can help :(

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  6. stay strong ayah we love you

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  7. This is the strongest little girl I have ever seen. She always has a smile on her face and what's happening never seems to phase her. If I could take her spot just so she could live as a normal 8 year old I would in a heartbeat. I love you ayah <3 stay strong <3

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  8. this is deep. im sorry. hope she gets better isA

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  9. i love you ayah your in my prayerss <3

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  10. Ayah, being the Princess that you are, think you could invite me to your wedding when that big day comes? That's a royal wedding to me. :)

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  11. ^ I absolutely love that comment<3

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  12. her laugh lights up the room .. Luv u ayah

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  13. Thought of you a lot today Ayah. Praying and hoping you will feel better very very soon princess. We all love you♥

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  14. GOD Blesssss U!!!! how beautiful u r!!!!!

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  15. Beautiful Smile ♥ inshallah a lifetime full of smiles!

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  16. Still the most beautiful girl in the world

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  17. Dear Princess Ayah,
    You are a true warrior, and I look up to you for your strength and courage.

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  18. Hope your feeling better ♥

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  19. I just heard about you Princess Ayah. I heard what a beautiful and strong girl you are! I'm gonna pray for you!

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  20. Ayah you are truly amazing <3

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  21. sorry that you are still feeling yucky habibty,wish i could change that.you are on my mind,stay strong my little angel...

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  22. Why must Ayah endure so much?? Because she is a WARRIOR!!! Keep fighting Ayah knowing that you have GOD THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR with you in the trenches, therefore, you CANNOT and WILL NOT be defeated!!!!

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  23. ♥ Stay strong.. xoxo

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  24. shes beautiful

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